TaTaTaing's Xanga

Driven

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:05:15 GMT

We are all driven by our own motivations to succeed in life. During my travels, I find it varies from generation to generation, and from culture to culture. Some motivations are fulfilling and some seem to only bring emptiness (surprising, right?). This is my perspective for the US:

Refugees tend to have a survival motivation. It's not uncommon for them to have a wife/husband and several little ones to feed. And when they are in a position where a professional job is not within reach, it boils down to two choices: labor work and/or business. Ones that choose business have the most to worry about, but it takes their mindset to the next level. If they are comfortable with taking the risk, fortune is within reach.

Second generation kids, such as me, are typically motivated by different factors. We tend to blend more into the white collar middle class. This is because the school system pushes us toward that direction. In some cases, the child will also be an entrepreneur like their parents if the parents raise them with that kind of mindset. But white collar jobs seem to be enough because there's rarely a case of life or death situations that a refugee will face when entering this country.

With second generation kids, the motivations vary the most because we tend to have more options to choose from. Some want to be financially free, while others do it because they found the love of their life and want to do the best to take care of them. The coolest ones are those that find a passion in life that grows into a huge business. Those are the most greatest stories.

What's your motivation to move ahead?

Standards

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 05:39:33 GMT

Maybe I downplay it a bit, but to me a standard is simply previously somebody else's opinion. At that point in time, it just so happen that many people agreed with that opinion, so it is labeled as a standard. Give it a logo, make it look official, and people will believe it's a standard. But deep down, it's simply an opinion, maybe a really good one, but it's really just an opinion.

I've noticed most corporate people want to find standards to follow. Standard procedures, documentation, etc. Follow the standard. To me, that means follow someone else's opinion. Why do that? Because it's easier. It's easier to follow something than to be original. It's harder to think. Sometimes it looks like people just want to be machines and follow directions. In essence, I agree it is easier. But to me, it's less fulfilling.

Don't follow a standard. Become a standard.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:22:13 GMT

Today I had a conversation with a client towards the end of the day. She had given her notice and today was her final day in the office. She went on about her house, how the mortgage was so huge, and that they wanted to sell the house, but they could not because she still owes more on the mortgage than what the house is worth. She wants a new house closer to the suburbs and sees some good deals.

I thought about it for a second and then initiated a conversation about this with her:

Me: Have you considered renting out the house and then buying the dream house you would like to live in?
Her: Well...I don't know if we could get enough to cover the mortgage.
Me: Really? How do you know?
Her: I checked on Craigslist and it didn't seem like I would get enough.
Me: Well, have you worked out the numbers? See what the mortgage would be on the new house, find out how much comes out of your pocket after rent is collected on the old house, and add those two together. It could possibly be less than what you are paying now if good deals out there exist.
Her: It's an old house, and when things don't work as it should, like the toilet, we just deal with it. If we get a renter in there, I don't think we can deal with it like that. We'd have to fix it right away.
Me: Well...yeah, you're supposed to.
Her: We'd probably have to hire a property manager...and...well we don't want to do that.

It's seriously all about the mindset. It's easier to give your reasons as to why you can't have what you want. It takes courage to go after what you want and not ever look back. I only asked her if the numbers worked out...but I think she didn't seriously calculate anything. And the thing about the rental price...there's obviously a maximum threshold of what you can charge, but there's a lot a person can do to make the perceived value of a home go up dramatically. Price isn't everything. And how does she know that those posts on Craigslist are even done professionally? Numbers could be made up.

What amount is enough?

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:49:24 GMT

What is the reason for the road to riches and wealth? From my travels abroad meeting people from both extreme sides of the food chain, it is rarely for the sake of having more money. There's usually some other underlying important reason as to why people seek riches. People are driven for different reasons and circumstances. You may have heard of some of these reasons:

A first generation immigrant that must find a way to feed 9 other family members
A loyal employee that has been pushed way too far by a spineless manager
A person passionate wanting to bring a new useful product to the mass public
A man that will find all means to build a prosperous future with the love of his life (and vice versa)
Financial freedom to enjoy one's own hobbies (traveling, charity work, etc.)

In most cases there has always been an underlying reason. The amount of money earned per year, whether $50,000 or $10,000,000, becomes almost irrelevant if there is no personal end reason as to why it is needed. What ends up happening is no amount is ever enough. $50,000 won't sound appealing anymore because $70,000 sounds better. Then it'll be $100,000, then $150,000, then $300,000, then...you get the point. Soon you might find yourself becoming jealous of another co-worker that makes $3,000 per year more than you. But at $3,000 a year, that's maybe an extra $75 per bi-weekly paycheck after taxes. That other person isn't that much better off....he/she might be able to have one extra expensive dinner or make a few more trips to the movie theater. From the big picture, their lifestyle is not any better because of an extra $3,000 yearly income. Look at yourself and see if you ever get jealous over this type of thing. It's hardly worth the time to even think about.

What is worth the time is to know what's important to you. The money you need to make is really the means to an end. Why is it that you need the amount of money that you wish for? The enough amount really depends on what your own end goal is. Otherwise it will never be enough. This has to be clear. Otherwise you will be overcome by greed. Just take a look the recent headlines in financial news and you will see what I am talking about.

From personal experience, when the end goal is clear and you want it so bad, it changes everything. The pace and diligence in which I was moving in the past 4 months is more than what I've done all of the last two years combined. When I found my reason, the plan became so clear.

Out and About

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 03:16:00 GMT

Next stop: Beijing!

June 26 - July 12

谁想陪我？

It's rarely a good idea to make major decisions while the mind is not in order. Time to clear it up!

Take Action

Fri, 29 May 2009 05:07:41 GMT

Taking action opens up the thinking process. It's that simple.

Poor vs. Poor Minded

Fri, 22 May 2009 06:36:33 GMT

The High Cost of Poverty: Why the Poor Pay More

Maybe I am just too insensitive, or maybe I am just too ignorant. Or just maybe, I'm so heartless. Whatever anyone may think, whenever I read an article like the one above, I could not disagree more. Whenever I read something like this, all I see are excuses. Excuses saying that people are victims of their circumstances. Bullshit.

A friend of mind once said to me, there is a difference between being poor and poor minded. Being poor is simply a temporary situation. Being poor minded is what keeps you poor.

I don't know what it feels like to be wealthy in terms of dollar amount, but I do know what it feels like to be poor. I grew up just as poor as anyone listed in the article. My family did the same things. My parents came here with no money and neither of them spoke a word of English (at least the people in the article could speak English). We went to laundry mats. We couldn't eat out. I couldn't have my Nikes. I couldn't even afford to bring my own lunch to school. But my parents never saw it as the way life would be. They only saw it as a temporary setback and were determined to make sure my sisters and I were going to build a better future. Although my parents did not run a business and build lots of wealth like many of my relatives, I am confident to say they were never poor minded. If they were poor minded, they would have kept me and my sisters poor.

Yes, after reading above, maybe I am a bit mean. But, hey, I've been there and done that. Instead of being so focused on how their life is difficult, they need to ask themselves how can they get out of that way of life.

Small Talk

Fri, 22 May 2009 04:09:49 GMT

I've spent some time with my old real estate agent looking at property in a nearby city about 20 miles from where I live. The last time we went on a Saturday and saw a marathon of properties. As cool as it was, I felt something was missing. There was something the agent just could not help me with.

It was simple, she had no idea what the area is like, other than it was not as good as where she lived. Unfortunately a property with a price tag isn't enough for me to make any sort of realistic decision. I needed to know how it would feel like living in the area and what sort of people it attracted.

The only sensible thing to do was grab my binder, a GPS, and hop into my car during the evening and drive into that city to look around. I stopped by a local diner in the area and had a hot pastrami sandwich. Nothing special, but not bad either. I could have made it myself.

But the most important thing was my conversation with the waitress. I asked her how long she lived in the city and what sort of things she noticed in areas she was familiar with. She gave me the breakdown of where the rough areas were and where the nicer parts of town were. She also told me who the biggest employer was in the area and where employees tend to live. Turns out this lady used to do escrow for the area. But with the downturn of the housing market, she couldn't find a job doing escrow, thus she became a waitress. She knew I was obviously not from the area. She referred me to a top real estate agent in the area and I'm hoping to find a trustworthy mortgage broker through this agent as well. My current agent can sell me homes in the area, but she can't give me any useful information.

As a token of appreciation, I paid her double tip and paid the tip in cash. Total for dinner came out to $15.34. Who knows...this conversation I had with her could later lead me to fortunes. If that's the case, doesn't $15.34 seems like a drop in the bucket?

World turned upside down

Tue, 19 May 2009 06:59:40 GMT

While growing up, I wasn't the best or smartest student, but I always tried my best. I remember I had a few tough moments up until 2nd Grade, but afterward it wasn't too bad. Later, my parents sent me to Mandarin and Cantonese school as a kid, but that didn't work out too well.

Middle school (or Junior high) was okay...I had a short period where I hung out with the wrong crowd (many people can't picture this when they meet me), but I was attending school in an area where it was common to affiliate with gangs. No, I've never actually joined a gang, but I'd be lying if I said it never crossed my mind several times. Again, I was close to being part of the smartest group, but I usually fell short a few points.

High school was about the same. I joined a magnet program, but I was never a top student. I was simply good enough to impress the counselor and did enough to make my parents happy. I even studied Mandarin to help relieve my parents' fear of me not being able to speak another Chinese dialect.

I managed to get into a top grade university in California, but again, I was never the best student. Seriously, I never quite had the ambition to be a great student. But I did what I could because I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought it was the right thing to try to be that societal model Asian kid.

I graduated, found a good salary job, and was on my way to a respectable consulting career. On paper, everything I did just looked so great and so right.

Then, if you read some of my past posts, I had a bit of trouble at work and the world turned upside on me. All of sudden, many things I believed in no longer held. I felt betrayed and back stabbed. I no longer trusted many people around me and started to believe nothing was ever what it seemed. I would lie to people because I could see they were lying to me. Am I bad? Maybe, but I didn't care. I didn't lie for the purpose of hurting people, I lie because I had to watch out for myself and be sure I knew how to fight my battles.

I started becoming more rebellious, but not in a crazy manner. In school, I was always told to ask for permission before doing anything. Now I simply state I will do it and move forward. In school, I always had to wait for someone else to judge me and tell me if I did a good job or not. Now I know when I do something well or not because I have the confidence I didn't have before. What is done "well" is really subjective to each person.

The world around me started to change, but not because it was changing, but because I was changing. My eyes started to see things differently and no longer saw things as black and white. The world is complex. Right versus wrong is never a clear picture. There's almost always a hidden agenda behind anything. I can never take anything at face value.

I then realized I was trying hard to rethink everything I was taught in school. "Because I say so" is no longer a good enough reason to listen to anyone. I didn't care of anyone to "grade me" unless it really mattered. In the end, I know I have to be able to grade myself, no one will do that for me. I have to live through my own thoughts and not through the thoughts of other people.

The world turned upside down on me and I intend to keep it that way. My journey has really only just begun.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Tue, 19 May 2009 04:54:22 GMT

I was sitting at Cofftea this past Saturday and noticed the liquor store next door. It's an interesting concept, although it was quiet all day. What do you think about it?